Disillusioned with Law School

The second year isn't the same. I just don't feel the wide-eyed excitement that I did as a first year. I suppose it is only natural. The first year everything seemed so new, plus, for me, it was fun to be back in an academic environment again after nearly 20 years. Now that the newness has thoroughly worn off, it all just seems like a huge, never-ending chore. I don't want to read, I don't want to sit through boring classes, I don't want to work on my outlines, I don't want to study for exams, and I certainly don't want to take the exams.

In the first year, part of the excitement was the unknown. Can I really make it? Will I be there for the next year? Can I compete with people half (well, almost kinda) my age? Knowing the answers takes away some of the fun. Now, it just seems like a lot of work.

Because there is so much extra work this year (my pet peeve is the schedule my law school goes by. First years can only take 20 units the entire year because the school is geared towards a 4 year program for "working adults". If you want to finish in 3 years, like most programs, you must then work yourself to death by taking 33 units the last 2 years. NOT FUN!), my motivation level has dropped. While I was eager to read everything for all my classes last year, I only do what I feel I "have" to this year. For me, that means I read for Property (because I enjoy that), and for Bus. Org. (because I don't want to be humiliated by my massively insecure professor), while I never read Tax, and only read Con. Law and Crim. Law when I'm going to have to brief in class (and know it ahead of time).

I also do not like night classes. But my school is so small that I don't have a choice. I have 3 night classes this year. I don't mind it so much if I don't have an afternoon class the same day, but two days a week, I do. It sucks, big time. Next year, assuming they use the same schedule (which they seem to always do) I will have 2 afternoon classes and one night class, plus whatever electives I end up with, so I'm thinking those will most likely be evening as well.

It's not like I really feel much to look forward to because thinking ahead 18 months is too hard right now. Hubby tried to tell me about the lawyer he knows that gets $325 an hour just reviewing contracts, and convince me I could get a job like that. Hmmm, well, I doubt that, but at this point, I can't think that far into the future.

Right now, it is all just a drag, a bore, and a chore. At least in 2 weeks I'll have a couple weeks off.

Two More Classes Until Midterms

It's weird how at the beginning of the semester, it seems like midterms are soooo far away, yet, somehow, once you get to about the middle, time flies by and all of a sudden you are face to face with exams. I have 3 next week (Property, CrimLaw and Tax) and one the following week (ConLaw). I have made outlines for all but Tax, but they all need major work. Since CrimLaw tomorrow night is a review session, I hope to spend the day revising it so I can get any questions I have answered in class. Of course, Property is a much more complex and voluminous topic and I need to work on that too.

Tax is open book (the tax code book) and we are allowed to hand write anything we want in there. I'm going to need to work on that this weekend. Since ConLaw is only on "Topic A" which was covered the first 10 weeks of class, and we had a practice test on that already, I have a completed outline for that class, but I plan on simplifying it after the first 3 exams. Since that test is open note and book, I doubt I will do anything there until after the others are done.

My Thanksgiving weekend was nice, but went by too quickly. I loved having my daughter home! It just seemed normal to have her here again, and I was glad to be able to spend the time with her. We also spent a lot of time with my family, which I enjoyed, since I don't get to see them much this semester with my schedule. My sister was here from southern CA, so my daughter and I got to spend extra time with her. The 3 of us love to hang out together. Here we are lounging together on Thanksgiving:

I'm Picking Her Up Tomorrow!

My daughter is coming home for Thanksgiving, and I'm picking her up at the San Jose airport tomorrow. I have not seen her since August, when I took her back to MIT near Boston. It has been a hard 3 months for me because I have missed her SO much.

I'm not planning on doing anything over the long weekend other than spending time with her and other family. In case I don't get around to writing more, here's wishing everyone a Happy and Blessed Thanksgiving!

Blue- The Color of the Day

Aw, look at the pretty bauble hubby got me for our anniversary today. (Tiffany sapphires in platinum.) :)

We went to go see Casino Royale today. I loved the new Bond. Hot body and piercing blue eyes. Works for me!

No law school stuff today......

It's Done!

That was probably the fastest 2 hours I've spent in a long time. I have absolutely NO idea how I did on the Bus. Org. midterm. I do feel like I knew the material well. But there were so many issues there, and the way the professor grades, you only get points for items that he deems worthy of being on his grading matrix. I don't know how we are supposed to figure out that, but he thinks we should. All I care about now is that I don't have to (and won't) think about that class for at least 6 weeks. :)

Now, I have to spend tomorrow doing all the reading and errands I didn't do this week because I was studying. At a minimum, I have to prepare a case brief for Crim. Law, look over the Property material, fold some laundry and do some grocery shopping. (Not going to bother reading for Con. Law or Tax.) But then I can relax on Sunday (our anniversary) and enjoy the day. We're going to see the new James Bond movie, and later have a nice dinner out.

5 hours to go

....before the Bus. Org. midterm. Who knows if I'm ready? I have studied, but I have a feeling that with the time for the exam cut back to 2 hours, we won't have nearly the time we will need to cover things adequately. This is worth 40% of our grade for the year long class. That being said, I suppose I should care a little more or at least worry some, but frankly, I just don't. Like I've said before, I'm more excited about seeing my daughter next week.

To all my classmates, I didn't have an actual definition/rule for the entire fairness standard, so I emailed the professor. This is what he said, "The "entire fairness" test requires that the challenged act be "fair" to the corporation and/or the body of shareholders. Definition of "fair" is "fair." Not kidding. (grin) "

Seems too easy to say that fairness just means "is it fair?"

Oh well.....back to it....good luck to all!

Early Anniversary Gift

Look what I got today:

Our anniversary is not until Sunday, but hubby sent me this gorgeous bouquet from Ivy Crest. They always do the most beautiful arrangements!

We're going out to Fleming's Steakhouse for dinner on Sunday, and my real gift is going to come in little blue box....my favorite kind! : )

Less Than One Week

Now that it is less than a week before my daughter is home, I'm getting excited. I cannot wait to see her! I really don't feel like studying for that stupid midterm tomorrow. (I have, but I'm sure the professor will throw more at us than I will be able to handle anyway.)

Even my cat misses my daughter:
We are all looking forward to seeing her SO much! Three months is such a long time, when the longest I had gone without her before was 3 weeks (when she did a summer school at UCSD). I know the 3 days she is here are going to go by way too fast. But I think it is going to help me finish out the semester because I've just been too sad and lonely without her.

Changing the subject, I finally got motivated to take the pix off my camera from this weekend. (Easy to do when you don't feel like studying. Suddenly, you become motivated to do all sorts of things!) Anyway, these pictures don't really do justice to how nice our room and the view was, but here they are anyway:
Gotta love a room with a full wall of window! (BTW, the lights at night were much brighter/prettier than this shows, and during the day, we had great views of the mountains! Loved it!)

I Don't Feel So Good

Seriously, I am tired all the time and my eyes hurt. I think I need to have an eye exam and get stronger reading glasses. I normally only wear my glasses if I'm reading, or if on the computer at home. I don't normally wear them at school unless taking an exam. But it seems like my eyes are always tired/strained now, so I'm guessing that means all the legal reading has had a negative effect on them.

Well, the Bus. Org. midterm is Friday night. (What kind of sadist gives an exam on a Friday night, BTW?) I feel like I understand all the concepts, but I am far from having things memorized the way I need to. At least I have the next 2 days to work on that. I feel like skipping Tax tomorrow night, but I know I shouldn't. I think I'll bring my flashcards and study while I'm in there (instead of being just bored out of my skull).

The good news is one week from today my daughter will be here. Actually, we'll probably still be driving home from San Jose, but I will be with her, and that is all that matters to me. I'm so glad I have this to look forward to, because it makes this exam and other crap going on right now not quite so important.

Ex-Husbands Still Suck!

Yes, it is still true. I can't believe I was once young and naive enough to believe anything this man told me.

It's bad enough that he won't contribute a single cent to his daughter's $200K education at MIT. But now, he expects to see her when I pay to fly her home for Thanksgiving! Uh, sorry, YOUR time was last month when you went to visit her. I don't fricking care if you want to see her now. Heck, I wanted to see her last month, and I didn't get to. You don't always get what you want.

Sad thing is my daughter has told me repeatedly that her dad doesn't really know her. She hasn't wanted to go over to his house for a long time, but she kept going until she left for school because she didn't have the heart to tell him. This man is the one who despite the fact that my daughter got into MIT (her dream school), and despite the fact that he had no intention of helping at all, said she should go to UCLA instead. He honestly has no clue about her and her goals.

I guess he still thinks saying the right things is enough. I have news for him. It is doing the things that matter......like actually supporting your children by your actions!

I'm Back!

Home from Vegas, and tired. But had a great time! :) The Wynn is fabulous! Loved it! Had an awesome view from our very luxurious room and wonderful service too. I would definitely stay there again.

Traveling is just part of my life- I couldn't imagine NOT traveling. It didn't seem to hurt me any last year. I went to Maui for 5 days over Thanksgiving right before midterms, and then on Easter break, I went to Boston and then Disneyland, each 3 days, right before finals. Oh, and I did Vegas in February before a couple spring midterms. LOL

I did bring my Bus. Org. outline with me, but only read it once the whole weekend, so I will get serious on that tomorrow. Friday is going to come way too soon!

Bye Bitches!

I'm off to Vegas! :)

Eight Dozen Cookies

That's what I've spent the afternoon baking for tomorrow's Bus. Org. class. For the review session, students "traditionally" bring food. I'm really not a cook. I much prefer to bake. After going back and forth about what I wanted to make, I decided to make 2 batches of cookies- ginger, and chocolate chip. I used to make these all the time when my kids were pre-schoolers. But really, since they started school, I got out of that mode and haven't baked much at all.

Since I'm still in the process of losing weight, I haven't (and won't) try a single one. I did get my son to test them for me, and he did give them his ok. I hope I'm not the only one who took HOURS out of her schedule to bake REAL homemade stuff, instead of buying something at the store (which our professor specifically asked us NOT to do).

Tonight I get to run over to school while my son is volunteering at church to do some cite checks for law review. Two more comments have their binders ready to go. I'm not sure I will have time to get both done (only have 2 hours, and that includes my time driving across town both ways), but I want to do as much as I can so I have more time to study for the Bus. Org. midterm next week.

Something to be excited about

I'm started to get excited about our trip to Las Vegas on Friday. It's really nothing big (been there lots of times, and it's only for the weekend), but I have felt so down about stuff that it is nice to have something fun to look forward to. I'm working hard to get all my reading and stuff for next week done before Friday so that I won't have to take any work with me. (Of course, ugh, I will take my Bus. Org. outline with me to study, as that midterm unfortunately is a week from Friday.)

The temperature in Vegas should be about the same as here (high 60s)- so much nicer than 115 in the summer there! (Yes, I've done that before!) We're staying at the Wynn, one of the newer hotels on the strip, which has some fabulous shops, including Chanel and Cartier. One of the fun things I love to do in Vegas so look and shop in those kind of stores, because they will never be in Fresno! Wynn also has that wonderful teppanyaki restaurant, Okada, which we have reservations for on Friday. Yum! Can't wait!

Ok, so I just wrote my 250 word comment on a fellow Con Law student's practice test. I've already done my reading for next week's Property, Con Law and Crim classes. No more reading for Bus. Org. and I've long since given up reading for Tax. I guess I need to spend some time working the outlines and I'll be good to go.

Traffic

There has been road construction going on near my home for way over a year now. The first contractor was 6 months past the due date when the city council finally got around to firing them in May. I have been calling my city councilman, the public works director, and the city construction manager for months now. It took them months to get another contractor on the job. When they started in September, I thought they might actually get busy and beat their mid-November due date. Nope. They started fast and furious then left it sitting for a month.

Now, this morning, they are apparently rushing to get it finished. Idiots must run that company. Apparently they have no clue that thousands of people live north of Herndon, and surprise, actually have to cross Herndon to do things such as go to work and school! This morning, in an effort to avoid Herndon between West and Marks (which was well publicized would be down to one lane each direction), I drove across Alluvial and south on West, intending to cross Herndon and take my son to school. Much to my surprise, the entire intersection was coned off, and you could only make a right turn, the opposite direction I actually needed to be going! Fine, I thought. I'll just make a left turn at Van Ness. Of course, the traffic was down to one lane, so it took me a while to get there.

When I did make it, guess what? No left turns at Van Ness! In fact, no crossing Herndon there either. (I couldn't have made a right, and then crossed. It was coned off as well.) I got to Marks and the situation was the same. Ok, that was as much of this stupidity that I could take. I made an illegal left hand turn through 2 sets of orange construction cones.

THEN, I have to fight all the traffic down Marks and across Bullard. To get home, I used Fruit, and then had to meander through residential neighborhoods to get to Alluvial and get home. WHAT A FRICKING MESS!

On the way to class this afternoon, the city had a "No through traffic" sign posted at Alluvial and West. How the heck did they expect me to be able to get to the other side of Herndon? Give me a break! I called the city's public works department on my break at school to complain. I don't understand how they can shut down a major street and not provide a clear detour or details about how they are doing it.

My only consolation is that apparently, this whole fiasco is supposed to be done on Thursday. After about 18 months of dealing with torn up streets, orange cones and unfinished medians, I don't know if I believe it. I have no idea how I'm supposed to get my son to school tomorrow, so I guess I'll drive through that residential neighborhood again, thinking it is most likely to not be shut down.

What a pain!

Sigh

Nothing much new. I worked on some outlines this weekend, but that's about it. I seriously lack motivation to do anything.

I talked to my daughter yesterday. She was excited because the Mythbusters were on campus and she was in the 4th row during their talk there. She's doing well, best in her Calculus class, which not surprisingly, is her favorite class. She has made friends and knows her way around Cambridge. It's just weird. She has this real life that I am not a part of. I mean, I can talk to her, but it's just not the same. I'm looking forward to seeing her in a few weeks, but at the same time I expect it to be painfully hard because when she is here, she won't truly be home anymore.

We are going to Las Vegas next weekend as an early anniversary trip (as my Business Organizations professor scheduled our midterm on the weekend of our actual anniversary), so I do have that to look forward to. Maybe getting out of town will give me a needed break and a change of attitude. I certainly need one.

A Hard Week

It's been a hard week. I miss my daughter so much, and even though I know she will be here for a visit in 3 weeks, I'm just sad without her here now. Honestly, I just feel so lonely. I can go to school and sit through 6 hours of classes, and if I wasn't there, no one would even care. Heck, I can go and not even say a word to anyone, and it wouldn't matter. I'm kinda feeling a lot that I'm just going through the motions. Right now, I don't even know why I'm going to school. I'm not liking it right now, and it doesn't seem to serve any purpose. And who am I fooling? How is this really going to help anyone?

Maybe everything seems bleak because I'm down. Nothing seems to make sense to me right now. All I know is that if I wasn't in school, I could visit my daughter, like everyone else has been doing. But no, I have to stay here, studying stuff I don't care about. I do not feel inspired or motivated. And I'm just tired. It seems like I'm never caught up with anything, and my consolation is supposed to be that I'm almost halfway through? That seems more like a crushing weight than a consolation.

So here I am, hating everything I have to do right now. And I get to go through all of it acting like I'm ok, because if I showed how I really felt about things, I'd just be sitting there crying, and that isn't very socially acceptable. :(