Disillusioned with Law School

The second year isn't the same. I just don't feel the wide-eyed excitement that I did as a first year. I suppose it is only natural. The first year everything seemed so new, plus, for me, it was fun to be back in an academic environment again after nearly 20 years. Now that the newness has thoroughly worn off, it all just seems like a huge, never-ending chore. I don't want to read, I don't want to sit through boring classes, I don't want to work on my outlines, I don't want to study for exams, and I certainly don't want to take the exams.

In the first year, part of the excitement was the unknown. Can I really make it? Will I be there for the next year? Can I compete with people half (well, almost kinda) my age? Knowing the answers takes away some of the fun. Now, it just seems like a lot of work.

Because there is so much extra work this year (my pet peeve is the schedule my law school goes by. First years can only take 20 units the entire year because the school is geared towards a 4 year program for "working adults". If you want to finish in 3 years, like most programs, you must then work yourself to death by taking 33 units the last 2 years. NOT FUN!), my motivation level has dropped. While I was eager to read everything for all my classes last year, I only do what I feel I "have" to this year. For me, that means I read for Property (because I enjoy that), and for Bus. Org. (because I don't want to be humiliated by my massively insecure professor), while I never read Tax, and only read Con. Law and Crim. Law when I'm going to have to brief in class (and know it ahead of time).

I also do not like night classes. But my school is so small that I don't have a choice. I have 3 night classes this year. I don't mind it so much if I don't have an afternoon class the same day, but two days a week, I do. It sucks, big time. Next year, assuming they use the same schedule (which they seem to always do) I will have 2 afternoon classes and one night class, plus whatever electives I end up with, so I'm thinking those will most likely be evening as well.

It's not like I really feel much to look forward to because thinking ahead 18 months is too hard right now. Hubby tried to tell me about the lawyer he knows that gets $325 an hour just reviewing contracts, and convince me I could get a job like that. Hmmm, well, I doubt that, but at this point, I can't think that far into the future.

Right now, it is all just a drag, a bore, and a chore. At least in 2 weeks I'll have a couple weeks off.