My Degenerate Creature of Darkness*

Of course, personally she thinks she is Rose from Titanic. She is available for modeling work for any interested budding artists. ; )

*You must go see Bolt. Completely hilarious. While the dog is the "star", the cats, pigeons and hamster do a great job of stealing the scenes. You will be laughing out loud!

My Advice to Pass the California Bar Exam

Before you heed anything I say, keep in mind that advice is often worth what you pay for it. Ok, so let's finally write this post...

First, do NOT start studying the bar exam during your final year of law school. It won't help you. It will only lower your grades for your final year. Stay focused on your classes and doing well in them. If your school offers any kind of bar prep class, consider taking it, but do NOT freak out if one is not offered.

Secondly, sign up for a bar review course. I don't think there is a perfect one, so it's probably more a matter of deciding what you are most comfortable with. I took Bar-Bri, and while it had its faults, it kept me organized in my approach to studying, and covered all the needed topics and exam parts. If you do sign up for Bar-Bri, a few warnings. First, their web site sucks. So does their customer service. They do not clearly tell you everything you are entitled to, nor make all the forms for requesting things obvious to find. Secondly, not all their lecturers are as thorough as they need to be. The Criminal Law and Business Organizations lecturers condensed their material so much that they left out a lot of necessary information. Some of the lecturers are very amusing, most are not.

Next, give yourself a week off after finals. Don't read or do anything law-related. Take a trip, sleep, see movies, have fun. The next 8 weeks will be the worst of your life, so do something you enjoy that will help you make it through.

If the schedule of your bar review course doesn't start for another week after your week off, begin doing MBEs. Don't try to study first. Just start doing them. You can use a computer program like MicroMash (though that has its own set of problems, but it does help you to get through and grade a lot of questions faster than using a book) or a book. After scoring them, read all the explanations for all the ones you missed. Write or type out the statement of law for those questions and keep them organized, by subject in a binder so you can refer to them later if needed. Aim to do about 100 a day.

Once your bar review class starts, stick to the schedule they give you and do ALL the assignments. My Bar-Bri class was from 9am-1pm every day. After class, I came home, ate lunch and started working about 2pm until around 8-10pm each night. In those 6-8 hours every day, do each assignment for that day, whether MBEs, essays or Performance Test. In addition, type up an outline for whatever material you covered in class that day. If you finished a subject, edit your outline as needed and print out to put in a binder for your final bar review study outlines.

Don't plan on taking days off until after the bar is over with. Try to do something fun every weekend, like going out to dinner or a movie, but don't get lazy and don't talk yourself into thinking you deserve time off. You don't. You will later, after you take the exam. You're not there yet.

When you get graded assignments back that rip your work to shreds, don't get discouraged. I think they do that on purpose to try to motivate you. Sure, take whatever you can from their comments, but don't let it destroy your confidence. My assignments, except for one, had failing grades and bad comments. I didn't focus on that. Not worth the distraction.

After your bar review course is done, you will have a week or two to finish your studying on your own before the actual exam. Continue with the schedule of assignments they give you, unless you can tell you have certain weaknesses. If you do, focus on those. Force yourself to not study the things you know perfectly. While studying those areas may make you feel smart, you know you really need to focus on your weak subjects. Just do it.

Arange your time so your last couple of days are only studying your outlines you made from the lectures. Make sure you go over every subject, again focusing on the ones you are weakest on, AND Professional Responsibility, since that is the only subject that is guaranteed to be on the bar exam.

When you sign up for the exam, consider the different possibilities for weather, distance, proximity of exam site to available hotels, your comfortable level with each city. Don't go to one city only because you know it is the "popular" choice for your schoolmates if you aren't personally comfortable in that city. Do not plan on staying with relatives during the exam if you are traveling from out of town.

If you are traveling out of town for the bar exam, get there about 24 hours before the exam begins. Check out the venue for the exam. Find out where you check in, see if you can locate the restrooms, drinking fountain, nearby lunch spots. Remember, by the time the proctors collect the exams and get you out of there, you only have an hour for lunch. You don't want to get stuck in line behind 900 other bar takers. Consider getting something the night before, leaving it in a cooler in your car, and eating there. If that doesn't work, find something close and quick.

Decide before you arrive what time you will cut off your studying. You NEED to do this! And you NEED to stick to it. My boyfriend and I had decided that once we got checked in at the hotel, looked at the exam site and stuff, we would study for a couple of hours, but once it was dinner time, that was it! No after dinner cramming, no getting out the outlines at midnight. Cut yourself off and then relax the rest of the evening so you can go to bed without panicking. Tell yourself that if you don't know something by that time, you aren't going to learn it. You will make it up and fake it. Just repeat that to yourself if you start getting nervous and want to grab your outline binder.

Make sure your hotel is within walking distance of the exam site. Even if you plan to drive from the hotel, walk it and time it, just in case, so you know how long you need. Ask for a refrigerator and microwave in your room, if possible. This will allow you to keep breakfast food in your room and save you precious minutes in the morning. If you bring food from home, that will also help you feel a little more comfortable going in every day.

After each day's test, don't talk about it too much, and don't beat yourself up over stuff you missed or forgot. Don't get freaked out and go back to the room and study. Just find a decent restaurant, eat a nice dinner, and relax. If you have trouble sleeping, take a sleeping pill by 8pm (not any later!) .

When the final day is through, if you are able, don't try to drive home. Find something to drink and celebrate there, and stay one more night. By the time you get out of the last exam, it will be about 5:30pm, and you don't want to have to try to drive for hours at that point.

You will then have 4 months to wait. Try not to think about it. It seems forever. It nearly is. Try to find projects to keep yourself busy.

If you are like me, and hate to be disappointed more than just about anything else, convince yourself you did not pass. Resign yourself to having to study and go through it all again. Plan for the worst, hope for the best. Realize it isn't the end of the world if you don't pass. But when you finally get the results, if you do pass, celebrate and tell everyone your secrets!

Back to Real Life...No Longer a Law School Zombie

Life has been a blur since finding out last Friday that I passed the California Bar Exam. I had mentally prepared myself to begin the excruciating process of studying for it for 2 months again, so when I found out that was not in my future after all, I jumped right back into real life.

The first thing I did is send off 3 applications and resumes to agencies for which I would most like to work. I'm hoping to get at least one interview and offer out of those. (Every boss I have ever had has absolutely loved me, so I know whomever ends up with me will be very pleased.) If that doesn't work, I'll just see what else I can find. Family law had been my second choice when I started law school (and I took 3 electives in that area) so that would be another possibility. We'll see.

The next thing I did was make an offer on a house! :) After going back and forth on the price for a couple days, we finally agreed and I'm in escrow on it now. It closes December 5th! Yes, you read that right. NEXT FRIDAY! Yes, I admit I'm kind of psycho when it comes to getting stuff done, but really, it made more sense this way. I can be in, settled, and decorate for Christmas before my daughter comes home on the 20th. Plus, it isn't likely I would interview, get an offer, and start a new job that fast, so better to do all this now then after I start a job and don't have as much time.

I've been swamped with house stuff the last couple of days, as you can imagine with having a 10 day escrow which includes a long holiday weekend. The appraisal was on Monday and the inspection was this morning (by one of my law school friends!). This weekend I need to go buy a refrigerator for delivery on the 5th. Hoping that won't be a problem.

Next week I need to pack and get everything ready to go. Oh, and there's a little ceremony on Wednesday. Something about swearing. Yeah, can't forget to go to that...

California Bar Exam, By the Numbers

For the July 2008 California Bar Exam:

• 8637 people took the exam
  
• 61.7% of exam takers passed
• 75% of first time takers passed
• 27% of repeaters passed
• From California, but non-ABA, accredited schools (such as mine), 37% of first time takers and 17% of repeaters passed
• From SJCL (my school), 23 out of the 49 people who graduated in my class passed, for a 47% pass rate. However, I know at least 2 of those people did not take the exam. If there were others who also did not take it, the pass rate will be at or above 50%. (The school's pass rate had been hovering around 30% for the past few years, so this is a significant improvement.)
• Of our 23 passers, 11 were male and 12 were female; 9 were students who completed the law program in 3 years and 14 completed in 4 or 5 years.
• Of the 3 year program exam passers, the 9 came from an original class size of about 90 people, meaning that only 10% of the people who began law school at SJCL in August 2005 finished in 3 years and passed the bar exam on the first attempt.
• All of the students who graduated with high honors or distinction (the top 20% of the class) passed.
  

Being the nerds that we are, my boyfriend and I had printed out a list of the 2008 graduates and made a prediction for each person, based on what we knew about them, their class rank or GPA, their study habits, their contributions in the classroom, whether or not we thought they would pass or fail. We predicted that 22 of the 49 would pass. And we woke up at 6am yesterday when the results were made public on the state bar web site and checked each person's name to see how accurately our predictions were. While we made some errors on the results for some individuals, the overall prediction was only off by 1. Yes, we were pretty proud of ourselves. :)

Congratulations to all who passed! See all of you at school tonight for the reception!

"My Mom's a Lawyer"

It didn't take my daughter to throw out that phrase! Apparently the RA of her dorm was trying to convince her to attend more of the dorm's social events. My daughter, being a near clone of me, is happy to socialize with her friends and those she enjoys but finds little use for random socializing with people she doesn't know or care for.

Not only did she use that phrase, she included, "and half my genes come from her, so you're not convincing me of anything!" Apparently, that finally worked and he left her alone!

You Can't Plan for Everything

If you read this blog even semi-regularly, you probably know I plan and organize everything. When it came to taking the California bar exam, my boyfriend-study partner and I left nothing to chance. We arrived in San Mateo, the site where we took the exam, nearly 24 hours before the exam began. We checked out the exam location, making sure we knew where the entrance, bathrooms and drinking fountains were. We located a nearby fast food restaurant, plotted the path there, and made contingency plans if the parking lot was full. We walked from the hotel to the exam site, timing it, in case the car had a flat tire or didn't start the morning of the exam and we needed to walk. We brought food to eat for breakfast in the room so we didn't end up in a long line at a restaurant or the room service queue.

As the 16 weeks from the time of the exam to the time the results were posted last night, we have mostly tried to not think about it. You can't do anything at that point anyway, so what is the use? Over the last month however, it had been getting harder and harder to ignore. A single line of text on a web site could change our lives. How can you not start thinking about it?

Anticipating having a hard time sleeping the night before the results came out (Thursday night), we each took a sleeping pill.

On Friday, I had the results page of the State Bar's web site up all day. I watched the hourly countdown on there until it became a minute by minute countdown at about 90 minutes to go. I thought surely the results would get posted a little early, to help ease some of the congestion to the site right at 6. Nope.

I did get right through at 6pm, putting in my application and file numbers. However, the screen I was taken to only had those 2 numbers, my name (my previous name, for anyone checking the list tomorrow, since that is the name I originally registered at the State Bar with way back when), and the sentence, "The name above appears on the pass list for the July 2008 California Bar Examination."

I had to read it a couple of times. Huh? What? No easy "pass" or "fail". Um, does this mean I really passed??? I printed out the page, just for good measure. I then began down my list of phone calls to make. My boyfriend was at the top of the list, but he had not been able to get through on the bar's web site yet, so while I could tell him that I passed, he did not know his results yet. I then called my children, parents, siblings, and friends.

Once he came over, we celebrated with a bottle of champagne. We had not planned to go anywhere, because we were not sure what the results would be, nor how long it would take us to get them, and then notify everyone. That ended up being a good decision. (We do have reservations for a nice dinner out tonight, which I am sure we will enjoy much more than we would have if we had gone out last night.)

After falling asleep before 10, we both woke up at 1am. Not the kind of awake where you open your eyes and roll over and fall back asleep. We were wide awake. After watching some tv and eating leftover enchiladas, we eventually went back to sleep around 4:30 or so. Ugh. If we had truly planned ahead, we would have taken sleeping pills last night too!

This post is long enough, so I will wait until next week to give my thoughts on the whole process.

I PASSED!

OMG! I don't even know what to say or think. I had convinced myself I had failed. I'm in shock.

I need to celebrate.....

Tomorrow is THE Day

It's down to about 34 hours now. I'm ready to find out I passed. I have my list of people I need to call as soon as I found out the results. I have packets with resumes, cover letters, and writing samples waiting to be mailed out. I have an appointment Saturday morning with my real estate agent to write up on offer on a house.

Of course, if I fail, none of the above matters, as I will be in limbo again, and in six months be in the same position- waiting to find out the results (of the February exam). It's hard not to wonder how I would possibly go through all of this again. I suppose that is what December is for- getting through all the emotions of it all so I could get serious in January and spend 2 months studying and preparing, again.

If I pass, I'll post once I contact everyone on my list. If I don't, well, who knows?

Do We Become Our Grandparents?

Too many times it seems like I base my actions on doing the opposite of what my parents do. There are lots of things they do and have done that are annoying or hurtful, and I purposefully want to be a different kind of parent to my own children.

I suppose one of the areas that sticks out in my mind the most is being forced to share. Yes, I know. Children are by nature greedy and self-centered ("NO" and "mine" are usually among the first words spoken), and need to be taught that the world doesn't revolve around them. But to me, it seemed very communistic for my mom to have made me share things with my sister, when I was the one who had an after-school job, earned extra money, and bought the items myself. What about property rights, or don't people under 18 have those?

Perhaps it was easier, having one boy and one girl, and clothes-sharing not an issue, but I recall making sure my children were not forced to share. "Give that back to your sister. That is hers," was something my son heard me say, though never uttered by my parents.

Unfortunately, my grandparents died before I had the chance to get to know them as an adult. But I often wonder if I am more like them than I am my parents. Do we all swing away from how our parents are, making every other generation kindred spirits? I wish I knew, and sometimes I wish my grandparents were still around. I could use someone else to whom I could complain about my parents!

Domestic Violence

Last week, one of the things I did to fill a few hours was trek down to the Fresno County law library to look up "Myers on Evidence in Child, Domestic and Elder Abuse Cases", by John E.B. Myers. Realizing that as a prosecutor, I will surely face having to question witnesses who have been victims of abuse, I thought this book might prove to be a valuable resource. While professionally I think I will end up referring to it in the future, personally it hit home. I thought I'd share a few of my observations, for anyone else who may be in a similar situation.

Domestic violence is not just an act that give you bruises and broken bones, but is "any use of physical or sexual force, actual or threatened, in an intimate relationship." (Children Exposed to Violence: A Handbook for Police Trainers to Increase Understanding and Improve Community Response, by Linda L. Baker, Peter G. Jaffe, Steven J. Berkowitz, & Miriam Berkman, italics added.) Even now, that is hard for me to swallow, because I don't like thinking of myself as a "victim" or someone who took years of abuse, but domestic violence did characterize the marriage I left.

I found these quotes from the Myers' book very interesting:

"The predominant behavior of batterers is control, and batterers do not generally apologize for their controlling behavior. Indeed, batterers feel it is their right to control their partner and their children."

"The overarching behavior characteristic of the batterer is the imposition of control over his partner. The batterer's control is carried out through a mixture of criticism, verbal abuse, economic control, isolation, cruelty, and an array of other tactics." (Quoted from The Batterer as Parent: Addressing the Impact of Domestic Violence on Family Dynamics by Bancroft and Silverman, emphasis added.)

"Batterers tend to view themselves as superior, and to be selfish, self-centered, manipulative, and possessive. "

I can tell you when I read those quotes, there was no other conclusion to come to except that my ex-husband is a batterer. All of the above applied to our time together and his behavior. Yet, even as I say that, it is hard for me to admit. So why am I even posting about this? Because I am an intelligent and strong woman who got involved with the wrong man. Maybe I didn't see the signs, but maybe I would have if I had been warned.

Thirty three percent of female homicide victims are murdered by their spouse or boyfriend, and 20% of American women are assaulted by an intimate partner at some point in their life. That is why I think this is so important. Maybe I can open the eyes of one woman to recognizing the behavior of the man she is involved with, or thinking about getting involved with, before it is too late.

For those of you wanting help, please check out the Marjaree Mason Center locally or Womens Law.

ONE MORE WEEK!

Next Friday the results for the California Bar exam will be posted (at 6pm PST). After finishing the exam, I was so relieved to be done with it, and the results seemed so far off, I did not think about it much. Now I can think of little else. It is hard when that is what stands between my life either moving forward or remaining in limbo. Sigh.

At least there are a few fun things this weekend to distract me some. Tonight, my 11 year old niece is in Clovis West's production of Annie. Since the school needed younger children to play the orphans, a few kids from each of the elementary schools that feed into CW were picked to participate. Apparently she has really enjoyed this experience, so I anticipate this being the first in a string of many productions with her that I will be seeing over the next few years.

Quantum of Solace, the latest James Bond film, opens this weekend. What's not to love there??? ;) We're going to go see that on Saturday.

Finally, after a long 3 year renovation, the Fresno Metropolitan Museum is reopening this weekend. To celebrate, admission is free. There are a number of different events planned, so check out their schedule if you plan to go.

What To Do?

Now that there are only 8 days left until the results of the California Bar Exam are posted online, I'm thinking about the details. I think anyone and everyone I have talked to in the last month knows the results are being posted at 6pm that day. I have been telling people that I will call them if I pass, or email them if I don't. Beyond that, then what?

Do I make reservations to go out somewhere nice and celebrate that night? But if I do that, and don't pass, how bad will I feel then? Or do I just celebrate with the bottle of champagne that is already waiting in the refrigerator on Friday and figure out something to do on Saturday, should the situation be celebratory?

It's even a bit trickier because I have no doubts that my brilliant boyfriend passed. But of course I have doubts about my own performance. I don't want to have the mixed emotions of being excited for him, yet upset about my own results. Hopefully, that won't happen and we will both pass.

If you took and passed, tell me in the comments how and when you celebrated. If you didn't pass, tell me what you did to console yourself!

I Don't Have to Tell You What a 90 Point Win Is

My boyfriend and I haven't played Scrabble for a couple weeks. After our previous game, he was ahead in the cumulative scoring by 74 points. Ouch! However, my win by 90 points last night has inched me back into the cumulative lead by 16 points. :)

Oh, and for those of you looking closely, no, neither of us played "quizzes" on the opening play for a bingo. He played "quiz" to open, and I later added the rest (which wasn't so bad for 25 points). Personally, I think "joint" (which also gave me "qi", "un" and "it") for 29 points was my best play.

I suppose I should stop while I'm ahead or he'll want to play again tonight (and probably beat me by 17 points!).

Everyone Loves a Parade

Because my nephew was playing with the Clovis North band in the Veteran's Day parade today, I woke my son up and made him go watch it with me. Even though he protested about having to wake up so "early", I think he enjoyed it.

We got there about an hour early, as I figured you would have to if you wanted a decent spot to see everything. We ended up on the curb near the beginning of the route. It was getting quite crowded and close to the starting time a mother with 4 little kids plopped 3 of them on the curb next to us while she stood with her infant behind the crowd. Her 6 year old son (Ronald) was very curious and outgoing, so we become fast friends.

When Ronald and his sister began speculating how many F16s were going to fly over (after it was announced they would open the parade), the numbers kept getting higher and higher. I leaned over and asked him how high he could count. "Umm," he thought for a second. "Ten hundred." (Two F16s flew over, very low to the ground, which was very cool!)

Since the parade was about a half hour late in getting started, Ronald and I had plenty of time to talk. The Fresno State flag girls and mascot were standing right in front of us as we waited. Ronald was trying to get Timeout's attention for the longest time by yelling, "Mr. Bulldog!" I finally told him that his name was "Timeout", which changed the yell to "Mr. Timeout!" It was funny, but I told him it was just "Timeout", no Mr. in front. Timeout finally came over and Ronald gave him such a huge hug that Timeout nearly fell over backwards.

Many veterans of different wars took part in the parade. Some walked as groups, others rode in various vehicles. They seemed thrilled to be honored, as their waves were returned by the eager children in the crowd. Even though I'm normally not much of a parade person, I have to admit that even I thought this one was kind of fun.

Fresno's Future: Tinkertoys and Legos

In proving what a world class Fresno is and will be in the future, city leaders have constructed a model of what they imagine for Fresno in 2050. This model is comprised of Tinkertoys and Legos. I suppose, considering that it is Fresno, I can only be surprised that Lincoln Logs were not also included.

They'll Need to Redo That Episode

Last week on Mythbusters, the guys tested various items, such as a police badge, an ipod, and a bunch of pizza delivery boxes, to see if any could stop a bullet from harming a person. It did not appear any normal item that a person would be carrying or wearing could effectively stop a bullet. A news story today, however, related how a purse stopped a bullet from hitting the victim of an attempted robbery. I suppose the Mythbusters will need to test this theory themselves now. I'm dying to see Jamie and Adam argue about whether a Louis Vuitton or a Chanel offers the most protection. ;)

2 More Weeks

It's kind of getting scary that it is this close. I'm so afraid I won't pass. Even though I know I should be in the group that passes (since 30% of first time takers from California accredited, but non-ABA accredited schools like mine pass, and I graduated in the top 15% of my class), that only makes me feel like I will only be more humiliated if I don't pass.

Ok, let's change the subject to something more important. The really big news of the day is that the stick was added to the Toy Hall of Fame. This was, of course, because the cardboard box was already inducted in 2005. Is it just me, or is that guy a little bit too happy to be holding that stick???

I'm Official

Getting my name changed on every account, credit card, and identification item I have did not take as long as I thought. I received my new driver's license in the mail the other day and with that was able to finish changing over the last accounts that needed that before they would make the change. Also, I haven't actually received my new passport yet, but I did send in all the required items weeks ago. (No, I don't have an international trip planned at the current time, but I just like knowing that if I want to go somewhere on the spur of the moment, I can.)

The last place I need to change my name is with the state bar, but they won't let me do it now since I'm in limbo. I either change it with them if I pass, or register to take it again with the new name. :(

In other news, author Michael Crichton has died. I think Jurassic Park was his first book that I read, though I did so before the movie came out and was disappointed when it did not enthrall me as much as the book had. I then read his other prior fiction books (The Andromeda Strain, The Great Train Robbery, Eaters of the Dead, Congo, Sphere, Terminal Man) and continued to read his new books (Rising Sun, Disclosure, Lost World, Air Frame, Timeline, Prey, State of Fear and Next, which I finally finished after the bar exam) over the years. He apparently has one last novel coming out December 2.

I always appreciated the research that he did on the subjects of his books, with all the detail and depth that gave them. I'll miss not having more of his books to read in the future.

Don't Forget!

Today is election day, finally! I will be happy to see an end to all the annoying political ads and demonstrations, as well as the recorded calls. (I can't figure out who would actually listen to one of them. If you do, please leave a comment and tell me why!)

Yahoo has a cool election dashboard that is kind of interesting to check out.

And just for fun: