Join Me

This blog was started three and a half years ago to document my law school experience. While that ended about 9 months ago, I thought it was also appropriate to use it for my experience with the California Bar Exam, and with finding a job in the legal field. Now that I have done that, I am moving to a new blog. I'll still be talking about what's going on in my life, but focusing on my career.

Come on over to the new place and bookmark it. I moved all the old posts over already, so they are in one handy place. Let's all roll our eyes together and wander on over to The Blonde DA.

"Is This Real Life?"

Public Defender Gets Shit-Faced In Court

That was too easy!

8 + 6 Doesn't Add Up

More details are coming out about the woman who gave birth to live octuplets the other day. Like how she already had 6 children, aged 2 to 7, including a set of twins; like that she is single; like that she lives with her parents in a small home; like that she filed for bankruptcy and abandoned a home recently; like how she was using fertility treatments.

Who, in that situation, tries to get pregnant? With multiple babies? And keeps them all? Obviously, being intelligent and making rational decisions has never been a prerequisite to becoming a parent. And I don't advocate the government stepping in and telling people how many children they can have, but why didn't someone do something? Um, maybe her parents could have counseled her to think about the cost of raising 14 children (which now they will presumably be forced to share) or consider waiting until she was in a stable relationship with someone to help her raise the brood? Or perhaps a friend could have suggested that she concentrate on raising the large family she already had instead of taking on more.

I can't help but wonder if this woman, with stars in her eyes, thought this may be her way to fame and fortune. Get a reality show with a hefty contract and move into an extreme home with a fat paycheck. Who knows?

It just doesn't seem fair that people like this end up with so many children, who I'm guessing will not really have the kind or quantity of attention they deserve, while some intelligent, rational people struggle to have even one. I know, I know. Life's not fair.

Vegetarians Have Better Sex?

That PETA ad has been banned from Super Bowl Sunday as being too sexy. What do you think?

A Stiff Sentence...Hmmmmm

This story reminds me of a case I prosecuted last year. Gotta love those defendants who keep us laughing!

I need all the entertainment I can get these days. I'm so bored! Now that my move and the holidays are over, I have nothing to do. I have a couple of interviews scheduled for the next few weeks, but realistically I know that means I probably won't be working for at least a month. Ugh.

My boyfriend and I are going to see Frost/Nixon tonight and then to the Fresno Philharmonic tomorrow night, and I do have a couple of books I'm reading (Convictions, Principles of Roman Law), but I could seriously use some sort of project to work on.

Freaky!

Do you know what an apothecary jar is? It's like the one there at the left, used to decorate your house by displaying various things inside. I bought a set of 3 at Sam's Club a couple of weeks ago. I put apples in the medium jar and lemons (picked from a tree I planted myself from a seed!) in the large and small jars.

Anyway, the lemons were creating condensation in their jars, so every other day I would take the lids off to let that evaporate. The jars are not totally air-tight (notice that there is not a seal around the lid). I figured I should buy something else to use in those jars, but had not done so yet.

Last night when my boyfriend and I were in the kitchen, we heard a noise on the counter, but neither of us saw anything fall or look different in any way. However, this morning I noticed a crack in the smallest jar.

I removed all the lemons to get a better look and when I picked up the jar, the top portion came off! It had cracked all the way around, completely through the glass!

I've never heard of lemon fumes cracking glass before and don't know whether to just return the jar set for a refund and assume it is a poorly made product, or exchange it for another set and assume this one was a fluke.

Has anyone had something similar happen?

"I May Be a Ho, But I'm Not a Crack Ho!"

California's new no texting-while-driving law comes with a built in excuse. The law itself states that:

"A person shall not drive a motor vehicle while using an electronic wireless communications device to write, send, or read a text-based communication... (using an electronic wireless communications device to manually communicate with any person using a text-based communication, including, but not limited to, communications referred to as a text message, instant message, or electronic mail)."

But it goes on to say:

"A person shall not be deemed to be writing, reading, or sending a text-based communication if the person reads, selects, or enters a telephone number or name in an electronic wireless communications device for the purpose of making or receiving a telephone call."

So if you are pulled over for texting while driving, all you have to do is tell the officer that you were not texting but in fact just scrolling through your phone book on your phone to make a phone call. (Of course, I would never condone breaking any law. I'm just saying that, you know, I'm sure you would only be scrolling and not texting, right???) By the time you actually pulled over and the officer approached, I have no idea how he would know the difference. What is he going to do- confiscate your cell phone and look at the time of the last sent and received text messages and see if they have been read yet or not?

This law makes no sense to me. If the purpose of the law is to make dangerous behavior illegal, is there proof that scrolling through phone numbers is less dangerous than texting? Of course not, but I suppose they were forced to put in that exception since talking on our cell phones (with a hands-free device, of course) is still legal, and we could not talk if we couldn't scroll through the names in our phone and make a selection.

I'm sure Joe Simitian thought he was doing a great thing for our state by getting his law passed, but I have to tell you, I see a lot of other dangerous behavior in cars every day. I think he should also see about outlawing the following while driving: eating, putting on makeup, shaving, reading, listening to music, having conversations. I mean, all of those are distracting activities and surely accidents have been caused by drivers engaged in them. Senator Simitian, we are not truly protected yet. Can't you help us???

In the meantime, if the "I was only scrolling" excuse doesn't work if you are caught texting while driving, you can always try the one in the title of this post. I'm not sure it worked for the working girl who used it the other night on Cops, but it was pretty funny.

Don't Like Your Gift? Sue Someone!

Here's a lawsuit I would like to see filed, strictly for the entertainment value (from our friends over at Not Always Right):

(An angry, overweight female customer approaches me with a Nintendo Wii Fit and hands me her receipt.)

Me: “Hi, what can I help you with today?”

Customer: “I’d like to return this.”

Me: “What seems to be the problem with it?”

Customer: “I think it’s broken.”

Me: “All right, what’s going on?”

Customer: “Whenever it weighs me and calculates my BMI, it labels me as obese.”

Me: “And…”

Customer: “Well, that can’t be right!”

Me: “From what I’ve heard, the measurements on Wii Fits are fairly accurate. Are you sure you want to return this? They’re pretty hard to find.”

Customer: “Are you calling me fat?!”

Me: “No, I’m just saying that…”

Customer: “You just called me fat!

Me: “No, I was just saying…”

Customer: “Whatever. I still want to return it. It’s obviously not working right. And, I think someone should talk to the designer; make them use a different word. It hurt my feelings.”

Me: *soothingly* “Maybe you could contact Nintendo; write a letter or something.”

Customer: “You know what, I will! I’ll let them know that their stupid game called me obese and made me cry for three hours straight. I haven’t eaten solid food for two days because of it. I’m so hungry! I almost fainted last night. Do you think I can sue?”

Me: “Well, you can sure try. Have a nice day.”

2008

Wow. When I think about how this year began, there is no way I could have predicted how it would end. It began with me finishing my final semester of law school, with an increasingly insecure and paranoid husband, whose threats of violence finally became too much to live with. While I was certain any attempt to escape would have disastrous consequences financially and possibly physically, I felt I had no other choice.

I cannot really even understand how I was able to leave an abusive husband in the middle of my last semester of law school and hold it together enough to get through that, moving, studying for my finals, and on top of that, preparing for, taking and actually passing the California Bar Exam. I must have been on auto-pilot or something, because even thinking about it now makes me nervous and a little scared.

But out of all that crap, a new and much better life has emerged. (Ok, yeah, insert your own "manure/flower" metaphor here.) I'm in a healthy relationship with someone I love and adore, where I am treated with respect and my intelligence is not viewed as a threat. I have a group of friends that I enjoy and see often. I am living in a house that is perfect for me, where I feel safe and comfortable. I am an attorney, licensed to practice law in California. I cannot think of anything I really lack in my life at this point. I am happy and I feel pretty lucky.

My Gardener Rocks!

Last Christmas Eve, I was surprised in the late afternoon by the doorbell. There stood my gardener, who handed me a bag of warm, homemade tamales. What a gift!

Since I only rehired him at my new house a couple of weeks ago, and haven't even paid him for any service yet, I doubted I would be receiving the same thing this year. But this afternoon, the doorbell rang, and there he was again!

I remember how good the tamales were last year, so I can't wait for dinner tonight. YUM!

The Place I Now Call Home

I know I haven't posted much this month. It's been kind of crazy trying to move, get my apartment cleaned out, and do all the Christmas stuff (shopping, wrapping, decorating). I finished in time for my daughter's arrival yesterday from MIT. Now I can relax and enjoy her and the holidays. :)

Anyway, here's a peek at my new place. If you think this looks pretty good for only having lived here for 2 weeks, you haven't seen my closet! It is a true organizational freak's dream. :)

My Degenerate Creature of Darkness*

Of course, personally she thinks she is Rose from Titanic. She is available for modeling work for any interested budding artists. ; )

*You must go see Bolt. Completely hilarious. While the dog is the "star", the cats, pigeons and hamster do a great job of stealing the scenes. You will be laughing out loud!

"My Mom's a Lawyer"

It didn't take my daughter to throw out that phrase! Apparently the RA of her dorm was trying to convince her to attend more of the dorm's social events. My daughter, being a near clone of me, is happy to socialize with her friends and those she enjoys but finds little use for random socializing with people she doesn't know or care for.

Not only did she use that phrase, she included, "and half my genes come from her, so you're not convincing me of anything!" Apparently, that finally worked and he left her alone!

Do We Become Our Grandparents?

Too many times it seems like I base my actions on doing the opposite of what my parents do. There are lots of things they do and have done that are annoying or hurtful, and I purposefully want to be a different kind of parent to my own children.

I suppose one of the areas that sticks out in my mind the most is being forced to share. Yes, I know. Children are by nature greedy and self-centered ("NO" and "mine" are usually among the first words spoken), and need to be taught that the world doesn't revolve around them. But to me, it seemed very communistic for my mom to have made me share things with my sister, when I was the one who had an after-school job, earned extra money, and bought the items myself. What about property rights, or don't people under 18 have those?

Perhaps it was easier, having one boy and one girl, and clothes-sharing not an issue, but I recall making sure my children were not forced to share. "Give that back to your sister. That is hers," was something my son heard me say, though never uttered by my parents.

Unfortunately, my grandparents died before I had the chance to get to know them as an adult. But I often wonder if I am more like them than I am my parents. Do we all swing away from how our parents are, making every other generation kindred spirits? I wish I knew, and sometimes I wish my grandparents were still around. I could use someone else to whom I could complain about my parents!

Domestic Violence

Last week, one of the things I did to fill a few hours was trek down to the Fresno County law library to look up "Myers on Evidence in Child, Domestic and Elder Abuse Cases", by John E.B. Myers. Realizing that as a prosecutor, I will surely face having to question witnesses who have been victims of abuse, I thought this book might prove to be a valuable resource. While professionally I think I will end up referring to it in the future, personally it hit home. I thought I'd share a few of my observations, for anyone else who may be in a similar situation.

Domestic violence is not just an act that give you bruises and broken bones, but is "any use of physical or sexual force, actual or threatened, in an intimate relationship." (Children Exposed to Violence: A Handbook for Police Trainers to Increase Understanding and Improve Community Response, by Linda L. Baker, Peter G. Jaffe, Steven J. Berkowitz, & Miriam Berkman, italics added.) Even now, that is hard for me to swallow, because I don't like thinking of myself as a "victim" or someone who took years of abuse, but domestic violence did characterize the marriage I left.

I found these quotes from the Myers' book very interesting:

"The predominant behavior of batterers is control, and batterers do not generally apologize for their controlling behavior. Indeed, batterers feel it is their right to control their partner and their children."

"The overarching behavior characteristic of the batterer is the imposition of control over his partner. The batterer's control is carried out through a mixture of criticism, verbal abuse, economic control, isolation, cruelty, and an array of other tactics." (Quoted from The Batterer as Parent: Addressing the Impact of Domestic Violence on Family Dynamics by Bancroft and Silverman, emphasis added.)

"Batterers tend to view themselves as superior, and to be selfish, self-centered, manipulative, and possessive. "

I can tell you when I read those quotes, there was no other conclusion to come to except that my ex-husband is a batterer. All of the above applied to our time together and his behavior. Yet, even as I say that, it is hard for me to admit. So why am I even posting about this? Because I am an intelligent and strong woman who got involved with the wrong man. Maybe I didn't see the signs, but maybe I would have if I had been warned.

Thirty three percent of female homicide victims are murdered by their spouse or boyfriend, and 20% of American women are assaulted by an intimate partner at some point in their life. That is why I think this is so important. Maybe I can open the eyes of one woman to recognizing the behavior of the man she is involved with, or thinking about getting involved with, before it is too late.

For those of you wanting help, please check out the Marjaree Mason Center locally or Womens Law.

ONE MORE WEEK!

Next Friday the results for the California Bar exam will be posted (at 6pm PST). After finishing the exam, I was so relieved to be done with it, and the results seemed so far off, I did not think about it much. Now I can think of little else. It is hard when that is what stands between my life either moving forward or remaining in limbo. Sigh.

At least there are a few fun things this weekend to distract me some. Tonight, my 11 year old niece is in Clovis West's production of Annie. Since the school needed younger children to play the orphans, a few kids from each of the elementary schools that feed into CW were picked to participate. Apparently she has really enjoyed this experience, so I anticipate this being the first in a string of many productions with her that I will be seeing over the next few years.

Quantum of Solace, the latest James Bond film, opens this weekend. What's not to love there??? ;) We're going to go see that on Saturday.

Finally, after a long 3 year renovation, the Fresno Metropolitan Museum is reopening this weekend. To celebrate, admission is free. There are a number of different events planned, so check out their schedule if you plan to go.

I Don't Have to Tell You What a 90 Point Win Is

My boyfriend and I haven't played Scrabble for a couple weeks. After our previous game, he was ahead in the cumulative scoring by 74 points. Ouch! However, my win by 90 points last night has inched me back into the cumulative lead by 16 points. :)

Oh, and for those of you looking closely, no, neither of us played "quizzes" on the opening play for a bingo. He played "quiz" to open, and I later added the rest (which wasn't so bad for 25 points). Personally, I think "joint" (which also gave me "qi", "un" and "it") for 29 points was my best play.

I suppose I should stop while I'm ahead or he'll want to play again tonight (and probably beat me by 17 points!).

Everyone Loves a Parade

Because my nephew was playing with the Clovis North band in the Veteran's Day parade today, I woke my son up and made him go watch it with me. Even though he protested about having to wake up so "early", I think he enjoyed it.

We got there about an hour early, as I figured you would have to if you wanted a decent spot to see everything. We ended up on the curb near the beginning of the route. It was getting quite crowded and close to the starting time a mother with 4 little kids plopped 3 of them on the curb next to us while she stood with her infant behind the crowd. Her 6 year old son (Ronald) was very curious and outgoing, so we become fast friends.

When Ronald and his sister began speculating how many F16s were going to fly over (after it was announced they would open the parade), the numbers kept getting higher and higher. I leaned over and asked him how high he could count. "Umm," he thought for a second. "Ten hundred." (Two F16s flew over, very low to the ground, which was very cool!)

Since the parade was about a half hour late in getting started, Ronald and I had plenty of time to talk. The Fresno State flag girls and mascot were standing right in front of us as we waited. Ronald was trying to get Timeout's attention for the longest time by yelling, "Mr. Bulldog!" I finally told him that his name was "Timeout", which changed the yell to "Mr. Timeout!" It was funny, but I told him it was just "Timeout", no Mr. in front. Timeout finally came over and Ronald gave him such a huge hug that Timeout nearly fell over backwards.

Many veterans of different wars took part in the parade. Some walked as groups, others rode in various vehicles. They seemed thrilled to be honored, as their waves were returned by the eager children in the crowd. Even though I'm normally not much of a parade person, I have to admit that even I thought this one was kind of fun.

They'll Need to Redo That Episode

Last week on Mythbusters, the guys tested various items, such as a police badge, an ipod, and a bunch of pizza delivery boxes, to see if any could stop a bullet from harming a person. It did not appear any normal item that a person would be carrying or wearing could effectively stop a bullet. A news story today, however, related how a purse stopped a bullet from hitting the victim of an attempted robbery. I suppose the Mythbusters will need to test this theory themselves now. I'm dying to see Jamie and Adam argue about whether a Louis Vuitton or a Chanel offers the most protection. ;)