"I May Be a Ho, But I'm Not a Crack Ho!"

California's new no texting-while-driving law comes with a built in excuse. The law itself states that:

"A person shall not drive a motor vehicle while using an electronic wireless communications device to write, send, or read a text-based communication... (using an electronic wireless communications device to manually communicate with any person using a text-based communication, including, but not limited to, communications referred to as a text message, instant message, or electronic mail)."

But it goes on to say:

"A person shall not be deemed to be writing, reading, or sending a text-based communication if the person reads, selects, or enters a telephone number or name in an electronic wireless communications device for the purpose of making or receiving a telephone call."

So if you are pulled over for texting while driving, all you have to do is tell the officer that you were not texting but in fact just scrolling through your phone book on your phone to make a phone call. (Of course, I would never condone breaking any law. I'm just saying that, you know, I'm sure you would only be scrolling and not texting, right???) By the time you actually pulled over and the officer approached, I have no idea how he would know the difference. What is he going to do- confiscate your cell phone and look at the time of the last sent and received text messages and see if they have been read yet or not?

This law makes no sense to me. If the purpose of the law is to make dangerous behavior illegal, is there proof that scrolling through phone numbers is less dangerous than texting? Of course not, but I suppose they were forced to put in that exception since talking on our cell phones (with a hands-free device, of course) is still legal, and we could not talk if we couldn't scroll through the names in our phone and make a selection.

I'm sure Joe Simitian thought he was doing a great thing for our state by getting his law passed, but I have to tell you, I see a lot of other dangerous behavior in cars every day. I think he should also see about outlawing the following while driving: eating, putting on makeup, shaving, reading, listening to music, having conversations. I mean, all of those are distracting activities and surely accidents have been caused by drivers engaged in them. Senator Simitian, we are not truly protected yet. Can't you help us???

In the meantime, if the "I was only scrolling" excuse doesn't work if you are caught texting while driving, you can always try the one in the title of this post. I'm not sure it worked for the working girl who used it the other night on Cops, but it was pretty funny.