One Month

It's been one month since I returned from Boston, leaving my daughter there at MIT. I guess I've kind of gotten into a new routine with my second year classes and without her being here. I don't really like it though. When I am home, it is usually just me and my 16 year old son, and 16 year old boys are not exactly big on talking or hanging out with their moms, so it feels like I'm alone more. Most of the time I'm busy reading for school, but I just really miss my daughter.

Usually, we would both get to a certain time at night and stop our schoolwork, and she would come downstairs and watch tv with me. It sounds dumb, but hanging out with her, laughing at and enjoying the same things meant a lot to me. Maybe because she choose to do it. I didn't have to ask her to. And I don't know many teenagers that willingly choose to spend time with their parents.

Neither my daughter nor I are "huggy" type of people. We both tend to be shy (at least until people really know us), yet sometimes she would come and not just watch tv with me, but come and sit right next to me and pull my arm around her. Yeah, that seems really corny I know, but those were the times I really cherish. Now, with her so far away, it is hard to tell how she really is. She says she is ok, and I don't have a real reason to doubt her, but I guess it's just that I wish I knew if she missed me as much as I miss her.

I know I've spent a lot of my posts on here recently about my daughter. "Officially", this blog is about my law school experience, from the viewpoint of a stay at home mom, but sometimes the mom part just steps in and takes over. Having to adjust my life to living without her here has been a bigger challenge than adjusting to the heavier load of second year classes, and the accompanying emotions are what weighs most on me. And it comes out here.

I did buy her ticket to come home for Christmas, so I cannot wait until Dec. 21 when I get to drive up to San Jose and pick her up. She will be here for at least 2.5 weeks, maybe longer depending on if she is able to arrange a research opportunity over the break. Still, it's hard to think that it is still another 3 months until I see her again. If I wasn't in school, I would go back and visit her before then, but with my schedule, I don't see how that is possible.

Thank goodness for cell phones and email.