Trying to Find a New Routine

I got back from Boston late Sunday afternoon. To make that trip so quickly really wore me out physically, and to leave my daughter there wore me out emotionally. Everything at home just reminds me that she is not here, and not going to be here.

I did talk to her for about a half hour in between my 2 classes last night, and that helped some. Since her classes don't start for another week and a half, she doesn't have much to do right now, and of course, knows no one. She is like me in that she finds it hard to talk to people she doesn't know, and since she has a single room without a roommate, she is lonely. That makes it worse for me because I want to help and can't.

I did suggest that she walk over to the bookstore, buy a few books, and use her free time to read and enjoy the the peace, because once her semester starts, she won't have that luxury. She actually took my advice! (All mothers know how much they love it when their child does that!) But it seemed to put her in a less lonely mood too. She is not really wanting to meet people until she gets into her final room (this Thursday), because she doesn't see the point in meeting people she probably won't ever see again. I can't really blame her because I'm the same way. It is hard for me to meet and talk to people, especially if I don't see a point to it. (I'm not like my mother who will chat to any and every random stranger she comes across!)

It was all I could do to not sit there and cry during Property yesterday. Thank goodness I called her before Con Law (that class alone is enough to make me cry). I felt a lot better after talking with her. I just miss her so much. And those words don't even seem to really describe how I really feel.

Needless to say, I'm just so distracted and unfocused right now. I know I've got to pull myself together because I'm so behind on my reading. Thankfully we have Monday off, so I hope by then to be all caught up. In the meantime, I'm just having to learn to live without my daughter at home. I don't like it, but I don't have a choice. I feel so pathetic....