In the Last of My Second Year Classes

for the first week of classes. I do consider myself a "numbers person", but I really don't have much interest in Taxation. Plus, I will admit to being more than a little distracted. As soon as I get home from this class, I am driving my kids up to Oakland, where we will be flying out of in the morning. By the time we land in Boston tomorrow, it will be evening. All day Saturday, we're going to be getting my daughter moved into her dorm room. After dinner, I will have to leave her in her room, and go back to our hotel without her because we're leaving for the airport at 5:45am on Sunday.

It has been a very hard week. Not really because of the classes. The reading has been hard to keep up with, but if I had been in a regular routine, I would have had it all done. But, with my daughter home, packing and getting ready to leave, things were definitely not normal. Anytime she wanted to talk to do anything with me, I set aside whatever I was reading. Needless to say, I am woefully behind because of this. Not that I regret it, but I have much to do next week to catch back up.

I woke up this morning and literally felt sick to my stomach. It's like my body knew it was the day I was taking my daughter away. I'm so torn. On one hand, I'm so incredibly proud of her, (The latest reports say that MIT is THE hardest school in the country to get into.) and so excited for her. Yet, it is hard to face the fact that my "job" raising her is basically done, and mostly, that she won't be living at home with me anymore. She is probably the person I talk to most in this world. I'm going to miss her SO much. I can't even describe it.

At this point, I've just got to focus on getting through this weekend, starting with making it up to Oakland safely tonight (arriving probably around 1am). Then I need to find a way to leave my daughter in Boston and come home without being a complete basket case. I'm sure this all makes me sound like I've completely lost it already, but I've spent the last 18 years of my life being a stay at home mom. Not because I had no other options, but because that is what I wanted to do since I was little. And my kids have been my life. And I adore and love them so much.

So, I'm sitting here in Taxation, but I feel like crying. I'm already missing my daughter. I honestly don't know how I'm going to leave her at MIT. It's going to be a long 4 months until Christmas. : (