Do I Have to Go Home?

I lying in bed, here in Cambria. It has been a nice escape from reality....the reality of Fresno weather (only in the 60s and 70s here), the reality of all the reading I have to do (only read 10 pages the whole time!), and the reality that in 2 weeks, I will have left my daughter in Cambridge.

I guess I have to return to real life sometime. And 95 isn't as bad as 113. And I do have a lot of time this week to do my reading. But thinking about my daughter being so far away is really more than I want to do. Sure, I want this for her. MIT was her top choice, and this year had the lowest admit rate ever. I am thrilled for her that she was accepted. It's just hard. Hard knowing that I'm not going to see her everyday, have her wander in to talk to me and tell me the latest thing that frustrates her. Hard knowing that she won't be home until Christmas, and even then she will probably only be home twice a year for the next 4 years. Hard knowing that she really isn't going to need me as much anymore. Yes, as a parent, you want to raise an intelligent child that is capable of making their way in the world. But along the way, you really fall in love with them so much that it's hard to let them go.

I'm really thankful to be starting my second year of law school this month. Honestly, if I had been starting this year, I don't think I would have made it. I remember how hard the first two months were for me. Emotionally, I was up and down, not sure if I should continue because I didn't know if I could handle that. I could never have combined that with my daughter leaving and made it. But now, at least school and the work can be a distraction for me. Hopefully it will keep me so busy that I won't have time to think about how much I am missing her.

Well, I guess it's time to get moving and get back to reality.