Give me some feedback here!

Isn't it just a basic fact of life that you want to know how you are doing? You crave to know whether you are excelling or sinking, and how you compare to Joe Shmoe next to you. It doesn't matter if it is in school, in your job, or in your relationship. You should want to know. Why? Well, sometimes to confirm that you are doing ok....other times to get direction on how to improve. But in the absence of any feedback, you just feel lost.

It seems that one of the ways that law school tries to frustrate you is by NOT giving you any sort of feedback....that is until finals in May. Of course, if you find out then that you really aren't getting it, it is kind of late.

I'm 2 months into law school. I know, go ahead and laugh. But I have to say that I'm proud of myself for getting this far. I'm the only stay at home mom in my class. (I'm going by the first day introductions here, so if someone else was too embarrassed to admit that, they deserve to not be counted.) Most students are just continuing their education which for them ended in May in their college graduation. There are some that are returning to school, hoping to change their career path. But me, I stand alone as the lone SAHM.

Now, my background was one of being a basically straight A student. (My college GPA was 3.77 if it matters.) I'm the type that wants an A in every class, preferably the top A in the class. My method to obtaining that usually worked....figured out what the teacher wanted and just give it to them. Of course, the big assumption in that is that you can somehow find that out.....the "feedback".

Just how are you supposed to figure out what the professor wants if you don't get any feedback until a final in May? It's not easy. Luckily, I have a few small things working in my favor here. All of my classes have midterms in December. Sure, they are only worth 10% of the course grade, but at least it is SOMETHING! My Torts classes actually has a few quizzes (each worth 1 point of the course grade) scattered throughout the year. Again, that is helpful somewhat, but when it takes 3 weeks to get the results, not as much as you would like.

Fortunately, my Legal Analysis class is more helpful. While it is only a 1 unit class and is not a "law" class, our 4 papers every semester do at least give us something in the way of feedback. Before we received our first graded paper back, we were given the whole "don't expect much" lecture. The school's motto is "65, stay alive", referencing the 65% needed to stay in school. We were told that we should be happy to get a 65, and throw a party if we get a 70. Well, I can't say that an "A girl" like me was too thrilled with that prospect. But, I'd rather be surprised than disappointed, so I adjusted my expectations and just hoped for that 65.

BOOOOOYAH! LOL! I got my first paper back and got a 91. Ok, so maybe I'm not altogether as pathetic as I thought I might be. You tend to start doubting yourself when most people in your class are nearly 20 years younger than you! Still, I didn't want to get cocky. I knew that in the grand scheme of things, that one paper didn't really mean anything (other than giving me a tasty tidbit of feedback to stroke my ego).

I felt very uncomfortable with my work on my second paper. I knew I had definitely not done as well as the first. Yet, I didn't know exactly what I could have done to make it any better. Others in my study group got their papers back early and hadn't done as well. Ah ha.....I knew it, my grade was going to drop too. It was just a matter of how much. I figured I probably got a 75, which of course, is something I still "should be" happy about.

I was dreading seeing the number. Maybe my 91 was a fluke. This would prove that, I was sure. Hmmm...well, I picked up my paper and had a 89! WHAT?!?! Surely there must have been some mistake. I wouldn't have given myself that grade!

So, where do I stand? I guess in the class that matters least (as far as units and stuff go) I'm doing well. It's a small consolation, but at least it gives me hope that just maybe, I'm also doing ok in the other classes. Isn't that why we really want feedback? To give us hope to keep on going? It looks like I got enough to keep going......for at least another week, that is.